ihatestarwars

And chances are you do too

"There is a diabolical twist to Star Wars fandom, you see, that defies comprehension, and yet is the life-blood of all Star Wars fans. It is this:

Star Wars fans hate Star Wars.

If you run into somebody who tells you they thought the franchise was quite enjoyable, and they very-much liked the originals as well as the prequels, and even own everything on DVD, and a few of the books, these imposters are not Star Wars Fans.

Star Wars fans hate Star Wars.

The primary fulcrum for the Star Wars fan?s hate (including my own) is George Lucas, creator of Star Wars. Unlike Trekkies/Trekkers who adore Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry, Star Wars fans hate the father of their obsession. We hate the fact that George Lucas got it wrong from the beginning, creating incest between Luke and Leia. We hate the fact that he wrenched Return of the Jedi off of Kashyyyk and set it on Endor with those tiny, furry Hobbit bitches he called ?Ewoks?, which is a syllabic anagram of Wookiee if you?re obsessed enough. We despise the entire existence of literally half of the Star Wars movies, blaming George Lucas? greed and flawed ?vision? for everything.

We believe George Lucas? ideal death time was 2:07am, 14 November, 1990.

Star Wars fans also hate the original Star Wars trilogy. We think Mark Hamill?s acting was whiny, the pacing was flawed, and Empire was better than Jedi, making the end of the series a let-down. We hate the way Boba Fett died, and we hate the cantankerous, arthritic duel between Vader and Obi-wan. We don?t understand why the storm-troopers can?t shoot worth a damn, and we don?t get why ?an entire legion of [the Emperor?s] best troops?(ROTJ, Palpatine) can be overpowered by a tribal society of midget teddy-bears armed largely with rocks and twigs. Star Wars fans hate omnipotent war-machines that get their legs tangled in strings, or slip on logs. They hate Darth Vader?s face and that stupid harmonica thing he was playing. Star Wars fans hate the original Star Wars trilogy.

There is also, as you probably know, a series of Special Editions that have replaced the original Star Wars trilogy, and these are also hated by Star Wars fans with an even more scorching fervor. Star Wars fans hate the glaring CG changes made to scenes we already hated to begin with. We hate that Han Solo now killed Greedo in self-defense, and then stepped on Jabba the Hutt?s tail (which we liken to Carrot Top stepping on Fidel Castro?s tail). We hate the fact that the ghost of Alec Guinness (whose name is an anagram of Genuine Class, by the way) now stands next to Hayden Christensen (whose name I tried to re-arrange into a flattering anagram myself, but only came up with ?Nn?Dense Chest Hair?). Star Wars fans are unsure if Fidel Castro has a tail or not, but we hate the Special Editions of the trilogy just the same."

The end line of the article sums it up nicely.

But I don't hate star wars.. I like the original trilogy just fine

Mark Hamill?s acting was whiny though!

wow lookimg back i said i loved the movies but its true WHAT THE FUCK ARE EWOKS INSTEAD OF WOOKIES yo a wookie flinging stciks at stromtroopers makes more sense then a peice of monkeys ass Ewok and why did Boba Fett die like thathe should've had a duel with Luke or a fist fight with Solo. And of all the possible walker vechile aproches why the Fcuking chicken (the walkers from Bf2142 or Mech seris better) and how come all the reb soldiers die 123 and the ewoks dont. Then how can the most elite forces in the galaxy shoot like they never did basic training and some times i want to just kill the whinning Luke and anakin. the one good thing from this all was Vader's saying "I find yur lack of faith disturbing". kotor would been a better movie setting.


And my final reasons for hatred of Lucas is WHY THE F*CK DID YOU KILL OFF YOUR BEST CHARACTER MAUL AND MAKE VADER MORE LIKE HAYDEN WHAT EVER THE HELL HIS LAST NAME IS BY THE END simply put he kept shooting the his movies in the face not the foot. And the funniest thing is how more advanced is the prequels lmao i mean i rather fly an ARC than a tie rofl or than X-wing and I thing Winu Under no circumstances in any way possible should of died i mean if he can beat the emp and yoda cant he is obivously a better jedi and he would made whiny Luke shape up and act like A MAN but no lets have bitchylittle anaskin kill him and then think it really possible to save his wife at birth i mean if this galaxy is so much more advanced have a f*cking abortion(that i am for it i mena i hate it) but hey if shes gonnas die wouldnt that been more logical and if at first you dont succede try try again plus it be more alot more fun rofl

I thought Empire sucked compared to Star Wars and Jedi. I thought Mark Hamill did fine. Personally I enjoyed watching Boba Fett die, and I love the Ewoks.

The Special Edition and DVD remake stuff sucked. I'll give ya that. The prequels weren't exactly wonderful either.

Originally posted by Starfire
I thought Empire sucked compared to Star Wars and Jedi. I thought Mark Hamill did fine. Personally I enjoyed watching Boba Fett die, and I love the Ewoks.

The Special Edition and DVD remake stuff sucked. I'll give ya that. The prequels weren't exactly wonderful either.

He didn't die! =p

To be honest I agree with you Star.
The main thrust of the article to me was on the lost potential. Now I personally DO love the original trilogy, but the things that annoyed me were lost potential issues, and the last three were pure unadultrated dreck to me, with endless potential lost.

Star wars was always intended to be a campy B movie. It actually went far past its potential.

Had there been a different attempt with a better script writer and placed in a different format, say a HBO HD series, it would have been much better. Instead it was a movie put together to showcase a bunch of new filming technologies, kinda like all those campy documentaries made for IMAX.

Hey.. What's Star Wars? ;p

Originally posted by NightFire
He didn't die! =p

According to any author that isn't also a fanboy.. he Died

Actually that short story where Fett gets out is actually a pretty good one.

I didn't actually use the word actually twice in the same sentence did I?

Originally posted by Doc
According to any author that isn't also a fanboy.. he Died

According to Lucas.. at least now, he didn't die =p

It's my understanding that Georgie boy was abit miffed about the Fett not dying in that other guy's story. It's also my understanding that, as an act of revenge, the 'beak' that was added to the Sarlaac in the Special Edition version was supposed to make it impossible for Fett to have survived.

Though not his original intent, Lucas has stated that he has "no problem" with fans and writers having Fett survive, and for the 2004 DVD version of Return of the Jedi he reveals in the commentary that he considered adding a shot where Fett escapes the Sarlacc, as a form of fan service. Lucas confesses that had he known Boba Fett would become so popular, he would have given him a more spectacular death back in 1983. Lucas explains that he eventually decided against the new shot because at that point in the movie, the main point of focus is the death of Jabba the Hutt, and he felt that the 'resurrection' of Fett would draw away from that.