Bad Jokes :D

I've seen churches with secretaries before.

Usually churches in larger cities have a secretary...but here in Kansas they are few and far between.

Seaking of churches I remember at least one of the jokes I've heard:

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden, feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

God said he was going to give him a companion and it would be a woman. He said this person will cook for you and wash your clothes. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give you love and compassion whenever needed.

Adam asked what a woman like this would cost him. God said, "An arm and a leg."

Adam thought for a moment and then replied, "What can I get for just a rib?"

There once was a Farmer and his pig.... and it had trouble getting small piglets, so the farmer went out to the clever man in town told him that he each day should take the pig out in woods and fuck it over, fair enough thought the farmer and thanked the man for the advice.

First day the farmer went out into his truck and honked the horn on it and the pig crawled up in rear of the truck... then he went out into the forest with the pig and fucked it all over..

Days went on with this event... and nothing really happene with the pig, so he said to the man who gave him the advice that he should keep on doing it for alittle while longer.

Nothing kept happenig the pig simply would not get pregnant n any way so he could have small piglets to feed up so he gave up, but then the time of the day came and the pig sad out in the truck and honked in the horn for the farmer.

Not sure if this is a good Joke in english but it certainly is on my native language did my best to translate, and maybe mep have had similiar experiences, who knows.

It is a good joke, but usually involves sheep, and more than one.

This one was on Pursuit of Happyness, but I'd heard it before..


A huge flood came about and wiped out the area and a man was left stranded ontop of his house. The man was very religious, having gone to church every Wednesday and Sunday. After a few hours, a large boat drifted by and the people on the boat stopped to let him aboard. The man refused and said to the would-be rescuers, "No thank you, God will save me."

The people didn't argue, and simply went about their business to help others in need. After another day, a second boat drifted by, once again offering aide to the stranded homeowner. The man once again turned down the help, stating again, "No thank you, God will save me."

After a few days, the man ended up starving to death. He passed through the pearly gates and approached God with a puzzled look on his face. He looked up at his Creator and begged the question, "Why did you let me die?"

To which God replied, "I sent you two big boats, you dumbass."

=)

Now that is an awesome joke.


Here is another one I've pulled from my childhood:
What is the laziest mountain in the world?









Mount Everest

Did you guys hear the one about the watermelon??































Oh, it was pitiful...just pitiful

Thou's are terrible <_<

This video is NOT safe for work, but very funny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdzjVnH9YoY

Add a star if you've played Mega Man 2.

LOL, that's just so wrong!

Funny yet disturbing :lol:

We are dieing here, so here we go.

What is green and smells like pork?





Kermit the frog's middle finger.

Umm...I get told alot that I'll understand when I'm older....I guess this is one of those jokes.

Yeah, yeah, if you have to explain it, it isn't funny. Kermit, Miss Piggy, you know, together...

Ok, here is one for Belle, and if I have to explain this one.....

http://postop.ytmnd.com/

Yeah, yeah, if you have to explain it, it isn't funny. Kermit, Miss Piggy, you know, together...

Ok, here is one for Belle, and if I have to explain this one.....

http://postop.ytmnd.com/

Say the word kirby and I'll kick him the next 50 times I see him on TS...